


Lucky Dice

by iamladyloki



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Han's Golden Dice, Kylo Ren Redemption, Major Character Injury, Mentioned Han Solo, Post-Canon, Redeemed Ben Solo, Solo-Organa family, solo spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 04:10:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14804100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamladyloki/pseuds/iamladyloki
Summary: Ben squeezes his eyes shut, just for a moment, and then lets out a deep breath. His father had told him all about those dice. "They are lucky," he said. "They’ve gotten me out of many tight spots in my day." Ben wasn’t so sure he believed in luck; if anything, it was the will of the Force. But they could do with a little luck, so Ben glances up at them and nods once, as though saying, "Okay, Dad. I could use some of that luck right about now."





	Lucky Dice

**Author's Note:**

> First, a huge thanks to the-little-momaid on Tumblr for betaing this for me! I sincerely appreciate your help.
> 
> Second, there are a couple of vague spoilers for Solo, so if you haven't seen it yet and want to avoid any and all spoilers, maybe mark this to read later!

_ Go. Go! I will be alright, just get us out of here. _

Ben throws himself into the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon, quickly priming the ship for an immediate takeoff. Blaster bolts are still being shot at the Falcon, but Ben ignores them; they are insignificant in the long run, the ship took hits worse than these in its lifetime. They are off the ground in a matter of seconds, shooting off into the sky and away from the battle below.

Today was not a win for them, but it wasn’t a total loss, either. While this First Order cell was still in existence, he and Rey had smoked them out and now other Resistance fighters would pick up where they left off. With any luck, the cell would be finished before sundown.

He plugs in the coordinates for Hanna City, Chandrila, and the freighter’s navigation computer responds with the fastest route there. Ben has never seen a ship with a better navigation unit, and it is all thanks to Lando’s former droid. He shifts direction slightly, keeping both hands firmly on the rattling wheel.

The hyperdrive is ready and waiting, so Ben shoves the levers forward. The stars stretch out before him and then they are at lightspeed, the blue-white tunnel of hyperspace surrounding them. Ben can’t help but throw a worried glance over his shoulder, as though Rey would miraculously be standing there.

He sighs, knowing it’s useless to fret just this moment. A clinking sound draws his attention upwards. The golden dice hanging from the top of the Millennium Falcon’s cockpit seem to be glaring daggers at Ben. He scowls at them, still irritated that Rey had found them when they briefly returned to Ahch-To and proceeded to hang them where Han used to.

Ben squeezes his eyes shut, just for a moment, and then lets out a deep breath. His father had told him all about those dice.  _ They are lucky _ , he said.  _ They’ve gotten me out of many tight spots in my day. _ Ben wasn’t so sure he believed in luck; if anything, it was the will of the Force. But they could do with a little luck, so Ben glances up at them and nods once, as though saying,  _ Okay, Dad. I could use some of that luck right about now. _

For all Ben knows, Rey could be bleeding out right this very moment - but no. He would sense it. His connection with her has never been stronger, and she is alive. The wound she sustained from a blaster hit her in the side, and they wrapped it up tightly before taking off. Rey would be okay...she had to be.

He had been responsible for his father’s death. He couldn’t be responsible for Rey’s, too. And while it’s true that he didn’t pull the saber on Rey, he had been the one to lead the mission, had been the one to tell Rey what position to take. Rey had criticized his call, but in the end had listened to his command - and had paid the price for his ignorance.

She’d been right, of course. She nearly always is. Ben lets out a shaky breath, trying to keep himself together. They should reach Chandrila in the next fifteen minutes. If Rey could make it this far, surely she could hold out for a little bit longer.

An image appears in his mindseye, unbidden: His father’s stunned eyes when Ben ignited the saber. The soft caress along Ben’s cheek, as though his father was telling him,  _ I know, son. It’s not too late for you. I love you. _ Ben brushes his fingers along his own cheek, recalling the touch as though it happened yesterday. He chokes up a little when he realizes it is also where Rey struck him with his grandfather’s saber.

Ten more minutes. Ten minutes until they can get help. He opens his commlink and says, “This is Commander Solo on the Millennium Falcon. I will be arriving in Hanna City in approximately nine minutes. I need immediate medical assistance. Rey has sustained a blaster wound to her left side.” They respond immediately, assuring him that they will be ready and waiting when they land.

Han taught Ben almost everything he knew about flying, and Ben has never been so thankful to have acquired those skills as he is now. He glances around the cockpit of the Falcon and has to admit that he is also thankful to have this piece of junk as his own now, even if it does bring back memories that are difficult for Ben to cope with.

As difficult as it is, Ben must do it. He must live with all of the wrongs he has done, and strive to make whatever amends he can. Ending the First Order is only a part of that; another large part is accepting things about himself and his relationship with his family that he would otherwise not want to face. The death of his father by his own hand is one of those things.

When they arrive on Chandrila, they are true to their word. A team of medics are waiting on the landing pad, a stretcher beside them. The moment Ben finishes the landing sequence, Ben rushes to Rey in the captain’s room. She is passed out on the bed, red soaking through the bandage and skin looking paler than before. But she is alive, and for that Ben is thankful.

“In here!” Ben calls when the medics make it onto the ship. Rey lets out a soft moan as she is carefully lifted up and placed on the stretcher. “I’ll be right behind you,” Ben says, placing a quick kiss onto her clammy forehead.

As they remove her from the ship and hurry towards the medical center, Ben hears his other favorite voice, aside from Rey. “Daddy?” the small, confused voice of his daughter says. He looks to his left and finds Rose and Finn approaching with Kira.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Ben says to Kira. He then looks at Finn and Rose and says, “Thank you for watching her. I’ll take her.” Finn and Rose then follow the medics, while Ben takes Kira up into his arms. She twists to keep her mother in her line of sight.

“Mommy!” Kira cries, hands reaching towards Rey and the medics carrying her away. Ben keeps her firmly in his grip, despite her squirming and crying. “Mommy! Come back!” the four-year-old wails again, tears streaking down her cheeks. “Daddy, is Mommy going to die?”

Her tear-filled hazel eyes look at Ben fearfully. Ben shifts her in his arms so that she is facing him better and says, “No, sweetheart. Mommy will be okay. She just needs some bacta and she will be back up in no time.”

Kira continues to sob into his chest, so he brushes back some of her long, black hair and presses a kiss to her forehead. “Shh,” he says, rocking her gently. “Daddy was scared, too. But everything will be alright now.”

“Mommy!” Kira cries instead, sobbing so hard that she begins to hyperventilate.

Ben’s heart breaks for her. “Shhh, sweetheart. We’ll go check on mommy in a minute, but I have something for you, first.”

Kira slowly begins to calm down. She looks at Ben with a mixed expression, one of sorrow and interest. Once she stops shedding tears, Ben lowers her to the ground and squats in front of her. He digs a hand in his pocket and says, “Hold your hand out, palm up.”

She swipes the back of her hand across her cheek to dry her tears and then holds her palm out to him. Ben gently drops the item in her hand. Kira considers it, looking up at him in confusion. “What is it?” She asks.

“That belonged to your grandfather,” Ben explains. “They were his lucky dice. He used to bring them with him wherever he went. I used to play with them when I was your age,” Ben admits, and Kira smiles a little. He continues, “They were one of my favorite toys, in fact. Your grandfather would give them to me for safekeeping so that I would know he would come back for them in one piece. That is why I am letting you hold onto them now - so that you know Mommy will be back in one piece, too.”

“For luck?” Kira clarifies, eyeing them curiously.

“That’s right,” Ben says, smiling at her. “Let’s go see how she is,” he says. She climbs into his arms and he stands, following the thrumming bond between him and his love.

* * * * * * * * * * 

The color returned to Rey’s cheeks by the time Ben and Kira are able to visit her. She was given a blood transfusion and then placed in a bacta tank for a couple of hours before being moved to a private room, where medics still monitor her. Kira is asleep along Rey’s side, pressed up against her like she often does between the two of them in their own bed, while Ben simply sits and takes in Rey.

He came so close to losing her today. If they had made it back even twenty minutes later, Rey likely would have bled out. Ben has to shut out those dark thoughts before they can affect him any further. Just as he is about to pull out a datapad to distract himself, Rey’s eyes flutter open.

“Rey?” he whispers, trying not to wake Kira.

“Ben,” Rey says, just as quietly. She stretches out her right arm, as though desperate to touch him. He rushes to her side and grasps her hand in his. 

Placing his lips on her forehead, he murmurs, “You scared us for a minute there.”

“You worry too much,” she says softly, but he can see the gratitude in her eyes. She glances down at Kira, who is still sound asleep. “How has she been?”

“Oh, you know, inconsolable. I’ve never seen her so worked up. Like I said, you scared us. Her most of all. I don’t think she believed me when I told her that you were going to be okay,” Ben says, and then sighs. Comforting Kira had been draining, almost as much as his concern for Rey.

Rey brushes her fingertips over his cheekbones and smiles. “You were quite the pilot to get us here in time.”

Ben smiles ruefully and admits, “I did learn from the best.”

They spend the next few minutes talking in hushed tones, careful not to wake their sleeping daughter. Rey will be okay - she likely will only have a small scar, at least compared to the ones Ben sustained on Starkiller Base. Rey finally convinces Ben to go take a breather and let everyone know that she is awake.

Ben steps into the hall and immediately spots Finn, Rose, and Leia. With a huge sigh of relief, he says, “Rey is awake. She will be fine.” Everyone smiles and heave their own sighs of relief.

A sudden roar startles Ben and then he is engulfed in the warm, furry arms of Chewbacca.  Ben hesitates for a moment before he wraps his own arms around Chewie, grateful for the comfort offered by his father’s closest friend. Ben doesn’t deserve it, but Chewie never was one to follow normal (human) behavior. Ben understands in broken translated Shyriiwook that Chewie is thankful that Rey is okay and sorry that Ben had to experience that sort of fear. Ben blinks away a few tears before they separate. He is not prepared for Chewie to tell him such a thing; it was only a few years ago that he had murdered his best friend right in front of him before sustaining what could have been a life-threatening wound by his bowcaster. Yet here he is, surprising Ben yet again with his kindness.

“Thanks, Chewie,” Ben says sincerely.

“So, kid. I can tell that you really have been trying,” Lando says, surprising Ben. He must have arrived with Chewie.  _ Some Force-user you are, to not have realized either of them were here, _ Ben thinks to himself. He looks at the man and understands what he means:  _ You have been working to redeem yourself, to be a better person. _ Unable to formulate words fast enough, Ben simply nods his head in response.

The last time that Ben saw Lando, which was the first time he had seen him since he was a child, the man punched him square in the jaw. (His fist had to be tended to by a medic, but Lando still claimed that it had been worth it.) It was well-deserved, Ben had killed his friend. While the friendship between Lando and Han had been tumultuous, nobody could deny that they had truly been friends.

There was a time that Ben called him  _ Uncle Lando _ , or an approximation thereof. In a way, Ben still thinks of him that way. His heart clenches whenever he sees friends of his father - Chewie, Lando, and even his mother. He didn’t just fail his father. He failed them, too. He failed himself.

Lando approaches him, causing Ben to tense, but he simply places a hand on Ben’s shoulder and says, “Go be with your family, kiddo. They need you.”

“Thank you,” Ben says hesitatingly, trying to give Lando a small smile. Lando gives him one of his charming smiles and then nudges Ben’s shoulder, urging him to go back into the room.

His mother says in her strong and raspy voice, “Wait.” Ben freezes, turning to face her. She waves him over and then leads him around the corner so that they can have some privacy.

“How are you doing?” Leia asks, taking his hand and squeezing it. “I know what that fear is like.”

Her words are like a saber to his chest. He can feel his face crumpling and then Leia is gripping his face in her hands and saying, “No, Ben. I don’t mean it like that. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I’m just telling you that I know what it’s like to worry for your romantic partner’s safety. Now, I will ask you one more time. How are you holding up?”

His mother’s strength never ceases to amaze Ben. He manages to say, “I’m shaken, but I will be okay. I think I just need to process everything, but I won’t be able to do that until Rey is safe at home.”

Leia smiles softly at him and rubs her thumb along the length of his facial scar. The same place that his father did. He clenches his hands into fists to will himself to hold it together. Now is not the time to have a breakdown. The last thing he wants is to walk into Rey’s room with red eyes and a puffy face. He needs to be strong for all of them right now, especially Kira.

“Good boy,” Leia says, patting his cheek. She lets him go and says, “Go on and be with your family. But don’t forget to take some time to yourself to process what happened. Don’t just bury it and let it fester.”

“I won’t, mother. I will, just not today,” Ben says, giving her a half-hearted smile.

When Ben walks back into the room, it is to find Kira awake, holding Han’s dice and explaining what Ben had told her about their luck. Rey glances up at Ben and smiles.

“Looks like Daddy was right, they were lucky after all,” Rey says. Kira turns her head to look at Ben and grins.

“Daddy! Mommy is okay!”

Ben walks over to the side of the bed and rubs Kira’s back. “I told you, didn’t I?” he says, and takes Rey’s hand in his. He gives her a comforting squeeze. “Mommy is safe now.”

Rey just shakes her head and smiles before saying, “We all are.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at forcebondedreylo.


End file.
